DADA with a Muggle?
by Northern-Child
Summary: ONESHOT Sub. Teacher at Hogwarts, and he’s a muggle? not sure on rating it's just basic general humor.


**Title**: DADA with a Muggle?

**Summary**: 'Sub. Teacher at Hogwarts, and he's a muggle?'

**Characters**: Golden Trio and other students… (like Malfoy)

**Warnings**: None... except there maybe a few spelling errors and a weird writing style but I can't help that.

**Disclaimer**: If I owned Harry Potter….why in the world would I write stupid little fanfictions…. 'tis cuz I do not own harry potter. I'm just a fan…writing FANfiction…how interesting…

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ronald, will you HURRY UP!" Hermione yelled. The Golden Trio were on their way to Defense again the Dark Arts from Transfiguration.

"Coming 'Mione, geez don't get your knickers in a twist." Ron replied speeding up.

"Yes, well, you _know_ we can't be late! We're learning something that will most certainly be on our NEWTs!"

"'Mione relax we won't be late." Harry replied calmly.

As they walked into class they saw upon the blackboard 'Mr. Eldridge' written.

"Do you know who this Mr. Eldridge is?" Harry asked wondering why it wasn't Professor Eldridge.

"I have no idea." Ron and Hermione stated together, briefly looking at each other and blushing.

Harry decided to talk to them about that later, as they took their seats in the middle of the class. When half the class had sat down, their questions were answered. In walked a man dressed in muggle clothes, (shorts and a striped T-shirt).

"Excuse me, Professor but where is Professor Tonks?" a Ravenclaw asked.

"Ah…well don't need to call me Professor just Mr. Eldridge is fine and….ah…your _Professor_ is away at the moment doing something….somewhere…" Eldridge trailed off.

"And we didn't already know that." Ron whispered sarcastically. Harry snickered.

All the class sat down and waited for the class to begin.

"Well, class now that we're all settled down, let's begin this lesson. I am your teacher for today, I may be back again tomorrow, I'm not quite sure and Mr. Dumbledore wasn't very clear about that." Eldridge began.

"Now can anyone tell me where you left off last class?" Eldridge asked.

Immediately Hermione's hand was in the air.

"Yes Miss?"

"Hermione Granger, sir and we were learning about Metamorphmagi sir." She explained.

"No sir is required and Metamorphmagi? Never heard of it, but it must have something to do with biology. Do any of you know how to ….um…hum…How old are you lot?" Eldridge asked.

"16 to 17 sir" Dean shouted out.

"Again, no _sir_ is required and then you should all know how to do hyperbola equations." Eldridge pondered.

The whole class looked at each other confused. Hermione being the bright witch she is figured out what he was talking about.

"Excuse me but we haven't learned math since we were 10, and then some of us don't even know what math is." Hermione explained. The purebloods looked at her like she was strange and the muggleborns finally understanding.

"You haven't learned Math since you WERE 10?" Eldridge shouted. "Are you stupid or something?"

"Um what's math?" Ernie Macmillan asked.

"It's a subject in Muggle school where the talk about numbers and equations, I'll explain it to you later sometime." Justin Finch-Fletchley.

"What's Math! How can you not know what math is? And why are you wearing…..robes? Also what's muggle school?" Eldridge asked truly befuddled.

"Mr. Eldridge, do you know what school you're at?" Harry asked trying to get the situation under control.

"Yes, I'm at Hogwarts Middle and High School." Eldridge answered confidently.

"So you have no idea what magic is?" Ron asked.

"Magic….that's nonsense, no such thing." Eldridge said looking like he was teaching, or trying to teaching insane students.

"Mr. Eldridge, so you would say that textbooks can't fly or hover?" Harry asked.

"No unless you throw them." Eldridge replied truly hoping Harry wouldn't.

Harry looked over at Hermione and had a silent agreement.

"Mr. Eldridge, what's that then?" she asked.

She was pointing towards the aisle that separated her and Harry. (She was sitting with Neville on the right side while Harry was sitting in the middle with Ron.)

There hovering in the air was Harry's DADA textbook.

"What joke are you playing on me?" Eldridge asked. "Put that book down now. There is no such thing as magic and I will have no pranks or jokes played in my class. Go get Professor McGonagall, she's you Head of House is she not?" Eldridge added.

"Yes sir!" Neville said as he went to get McGonagall who would put a stop to this.

Meanwhile Harry and the other Gryffindors got into a large debated with Mr. Eldridge.

"It does exist!" Harry sighed.

"No it does not! You are talking nonsense! Boy do you believe him?" Eldridge asked Malfoy.

Malfoy glanced at the other Slytherins then back to Harry and Eldridge.

"Yes I do." And with that Malfoy walked up and joined Harry with the other Slytherins following.

It took one look at both Harry and Malfoy then back to Eldridge for the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws to follow the Slytherins' lead.

"Are you all mental?" Eldridge asked.

With that Ron and Zabini lunged at him, but didn't get very far since Dean, Ernie, Goyle and Terry grabbed their arms to stop them.

"No we are not. But why are you so closed-minded?" Hermione asked being the more level minded of the group.

"I'm not. Oh, Hello Professor!" Eldridge said noticing that Neville and McGonagall had just entered the room.

"Hello. Did it work?" McGonagall asked.

"Yes, just like we planned." Eldridge replied.

"Have they….?"

"Not at all…."

Suddenly there was a large gasp, shortly follow by a giggle admitted from Hermione.

"Though I think Miss Granger just figured it out."

Hermione's giggles then turned into laughter.

"What's so funny Granger?" Malfoy asked.

Hermione looked at him, then the rest of the class and burst out laughing again. The Gryffindors, Slytherins, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs facial expressions ranged from confused to serious and not amused to concerned and severely confused, respectively.

When she finally got control of herself she looked at Mr. Eldridge and said the one thing nobody was expecting.

"Wotcher, Tonks."

Harry looked from Hermione to 'Mr. Eldridge' and back again.

"How could we have been so stupid?" he exclaimed.

"Looks like they can't tell between a metamorphmagus and a normal person." McGonagall said to Tonks as she shifted back to her 'normal' self.

"Doesn't look like it. But it does look like our 'project' worked out, at least for a while." Tonks replied.

"It might stay for longer than you think" stated McGonagall nodding her head to the clustered mix of students while she left the room.

Unknowingly to the students the teachers had thought up a plan to help bring the four houses a step closer while teaching them a good lesson.

Not everything is what it seems.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Author's Note: **This story came to me in a boring math class, and it wouldn't leave me alone till I wrote it down. Reviews are welcome. Please don't flame, if you don't like it then I'm sorry for wasting your time. Although I do hope some Harry Potter fans like it.


End file.
